Break-Ups
The ending of a relationship can be an incredibly difficult experience, triggering a host of complex emotions and reactions. If you’re going through a break up in Singapore, it’s important to understand and process these feelings.
What Emotions can Breakups, Separation & Divorce Trigger?
Below are some of the reactions and situations that the ending of a relationship can bring about:
Trauma -Break ups, separations and divorce are not to be underestimated. They can be experienced as a trauma and consequently your reactions to them are trauma reactions. Negative physical reactions around sleeping and eating can occur as can physical pains such as persistent headaches, sweating or constant stomach upsets. There are also a host of emotional responses that come with trauma reactions… from disorientation, hyper-alertness, mood swings, feelings of panic, isolating and detaching yourself, minimising the event… to name but a few.
“Our break up counselling in Singapore can provide the support you need to cope with these trauma reactions.”
Grief– The end of a relationship is the death of something and therefore one of the responses to it is one of grief. Grieving the relationship, the person you have lost, the person you thought you were with them, the future that now looks different… All these things are grieved by you. Even when you know the relationship needed to end, when it is the right thing and you feel happier, there is still grief for what is lost. This can feel strange, as if it’s wrong to grieve something you know you don’t want, but in fact this is normal… This can also be the case if the relationship was abusive or negative in any way… There has still been a loss, and this loss needs to be processed along with everything else.
Confusion – Separating from someone perhaps on a temporary basis, in a rush or as the result of a cumulation of events and feelings, can leave you feeling confused and ‘spinning’. What do I do? What is right/ What is wrong? How do I feel about this person?
“Stuckness” – Although not a real word, this conjures the sense of what is a common feeling when it comes to relationships. In regard to a potential separation or potential ending of a relationship it can be because of feeling trapped, stuck, weighed down. Where is this going? ls it going anywhere? Things feel repetitive and ‘on a loop’. Or it can be a sense of feeling stuck ‘in yourself in regard to who you are and what you want. . . because of not knowing how you feel about yourself, you therefore don’t know how you feel about the relationship.
Rollercoaster of emotions – Anger, freedom, guilt, shame, failure, relief, joy… The ending of a relationship can bring about a huge range of feelings.
Powerlessness – It can leave you with a sense that you don’t have a voice, that you aren’t being heard. This can be in relation to the relationship itself, the person and the past, or it can be in relation to the way the ending is being handled and your feelings about it.
Anxiety and / or Depression – Given all the above, anxiety and or depression can be strong feelings that arise. It is such a turbulent, confusing and stressful time that a sense of feeling hopeless and wanting to give up’in relation to it all is normal as can be feeling anxious, panicked and worried all the time in relation to what is going on.
If you are struggling with these feelings after a relationship ends, seeking professional break up counselling in Singapore can help.